All the Time in the World

I'm only 21 years old.

I've got all the time in the world to be a responsible adult, to buy my own car, and to buy a house with a white picket fence.

I've got all the time in the world to meet my future husband, to have 2.5 kids, and to get a dog.

I've got all the time in the world to get a “real” job, to move up the corporate ladder, and to bring home the big bucks.

So, all of those things can wait. I've been reevaluating my priorities – not deeply yet, but just at the surface level. I see need all around me, and yet I am in my little, dutiful bubble. I go to school. I go to work. I stay home and do homework. I don't party. I am safe and comfortable. I am warm and dry.

Pardon me if I'm “too young” to be talking like this, but I look back at the past couple of years and wonder where the time went. Wow. Seeing the time fly away before my very eyes causes to me wonder. Did I invest enough time in things that matter? Did I take enough time for those I love? Did I use enough time making a difference?

I recently dredged up an old paper on which I had written out my “goals” and “dreams.” Some had been fulfilled. Some had been neglected. Some had been shattered. Some had been left undone.

And as I read it, I sat there, thinking. Then I began smiling. By the end of the paper, I was bubbly.

Why?

Because I know that it is God who helps me to pack a lot into my days, and He's helping me to get better at this whole “time management” thing. It is God who is renewing my desire to dream. By the grace of God, I now officially have “junior” standing at PSU, I have applied for a few internships, I am fostering some new connections at PSU, I remain debt-free, and I have good health (among other blessings). I know that all these things come from Him and through Him. He has given me these blessings for a reason, and I am eager to put them to good use for Him. I want to see Him work – to surprise me.

I don't know what God wants of me, aside from the immediate. What I do know is that I need to continue my daily Bible reading and quiet times with God. I need to do my part to foster our relationship. As I'm faithful in seeking Him, He will faithfully make my path clear.

One step at a time...

Rachel

midterms::completed

Now that midterms are over, I am 1/2 way through my first term at PSU!  It is an incredible feeling to be into my major~ communication studies is fascinating.  Although my classes are difficult and time-consuming, I feel that I am learning so much and truly enjoying my studies.  This term, I'm taking Group Communication, Intro to Public Relations, and Intro to Conflict Resolution.  Each class is a true blessing from God.  I'm so thankful. :)

Trying to finish this term out strong...

One step at a time!

REVIVE

::to return to consciousness or life::to become active or flourishing again::to renew in the mind or memory::to restore from a depressed, inactive, or unused state::bring back::

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. A part of me forgot about this place—or wanted to forget about it. But, there's a part of me that cherishes the lessons learned here too much to forget. So, I want to press forward. I want to revive this old blog. I want to dig deep. I want to stretch myself. I want to think big thoughts again. I want to enjoy my hopes and dreams.

And, I want to learn how to walk closer in step with my Savior.

After all this time, He's still faithful. He's still tender and mighty. He's still loving and holy. He remains the same—and He's ready to revive my commitment to Him. I need to learn more about Him, though. I need to hear from Him. I need to be open and understand His character. The best way I know to do that? Reading His Word faithfully. Every day.

Here's to revival!

One step at a time,

Rachel

When you're in love...

...it's not burdensome

...it's not a chore

...it's not miserable

When you're in love, you're willing to go to great lengths for the one you love. Travel long hours just to be with them. Stay up late just to hear their voice. Spend a small fortune just to see them smile. Jump at every opportunity to be together. Think about them all the time.

Yet, why does my relationship with God feel like a “duty” or a “sacrifice”?

Why am I unwilling to go to great lengths for my Love?

Answer: I don't love God.

Simple as that.

I am lukewarm and mediocre. I've been feeling so unfulfilled and dissatisfied. I haven't been enjoying God or basking in His love. And, I've been trying to pretend and play perfect.

God doesn't desire a picture-perfect pretentious relationship. He knows that I don't love Him the way I should. And He knows that I can't love Him.

Unless He changes me.

So, I laid it on the table; I told Him how I feel.

I told Him that He isn't the most important thing in this life to me – and I'm sorry.

I told Him that I've been lukewarm and chosen trite things over Him time and again – and I'm sorry.

I told Him that I want for Him to change me – I long to genuinely enjoy Him.

I told Him that I want to love Him more than anything on this earth – but I'm not strong enough to love Him and walk with Him on my own, so I need His help.

I told Him that I want to be willing to give up everything for Him – that He is absolutely worth it.

I told Him that I want Him. And even when I don't, I want to want Him.

I told Him that I surrender.

I think that A. W. Tozer put it well in his book Pursuit of God when he wrote,

 “O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.”

That is my honest desire. My constant need. My continual prayer.

One step at a time,

Rachel

Lift Me Up

Waiting for the sunrise

Waiting for the day

Waiting for a sign

That I’m where You want me to be

You know my heart is heavy

And the hurt is deep

But when I feel like giving up

You’re reminding me

That we all fall down sometimes

But when I hit the ground

You lift me up when I am weak

Your arms wrap around me

Your love catches me so I’m letting go

You lift me up when I can’t see

Your heart is all that I need

Your love carries me so I’m letting go

You lift me up with Your love

You lift me up with Your love

You lift me up with Your love

You lift me up

I know I’m not perfect

I know I make mistakes

I know that I have let You down

But You love me the same

And when I’m surrounded

When I lose my way

When I’m crying out and falling down

You are here to

Lift me up when I am weak

Your arms wrap around me

Your love catches me so I’m letting go

You lift me up when I can’t see

Your heart is all that I need

Your love carries me so I’m letting go

I can see the dawn is breaking

I am feeling overtaken with Your love

With Your love

I don’t know what I can offer

In this moment I surrender to Your love

To Your love

You lift me up when I am weak

Your arms wrap around me

Your love catches me so I’m letting go

You lift me up when I can’t see

Your heart is all that I need

Your love carries me so I’m letting go

I can see the dawn is breaking

I am feeling overtaken with your love

You lift me up with Your love

You lift me up with Your love

You lift me up with Your love

You lift me up

Heavenly Father, all I can say is “Thank You!” 

Thank You for Your love when I am unlovable. 

Thank You for Your strength when I am weak. 

Thank You for carrying me when I fall. 

I don't deserve You.

Please carry me, one step at a time...

Rachel

Lyrics by “The Afters” in their song “Lift Me Up” on the album “Light Up the Sky.” 

Listen to the song with lyrics HERE