A cemetery.
When I think of Jerusalem's different sites, a cemetery is not a place that instantly comes to mind to visit. However, I had a particular cemetery high on my agenda of places to visit. Since Sunday was a free day for me (meaning that I did not have any classes or field studies) I obtained the key to the huge iron gate leading into the Jerusalem Protestant Cemetery, which is just adjacent to the Jerusalem University campus.
You know, cemeteries are curious places... This one consists just of dirt and stone with some scattered olive and date-palm trees (and a pack of wild dogs who barked at me but kept their distance as I kept mine)... not to mention memories. Memories of people from the past.
As I meandered through the graves, I stopped beneath an olive tree. The sun was setting and a cool breeze off of the sea was dancing through the leaves. It made a perfect spot for reflection and caused me think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (on the Mount of Olives), surrounded by olive trees. While in the garden, Jesus prayed, “Father, if it is possible, may this cup pass from me. Yet not my will but Yours be done” (see Matthew 26:36-46). Jesus was referring to His upcoming interrogation, torture, and death by crucifixion—not to mention the infinite wrath of God inflicted on Him as punishment for the sins of the world. While in the vicinity of those olive trees, Jesus' humanity was displayed in His struggle.
Today a similar struggle stared me in the face: the struggle to surrender.
I was reflecting: this is a time of limbo in my life. A time to question. What should I do with my future? What steps should I be taking to get there? How should I invest my time and energy right now? There are so many ideas and dreams I have in my head. I want to have control and plan things out. I want to know with certainty how my life will go. But that's not God's plan for me right now.
As I sat beneath the olive tree, I reflected on Jesus' situation. He also didn't know all the details of how things would turn out. He died to His own desires and simply obeyed God's leading. I wanted to lay aside my will as well and die to my desires. God brought a song to my mind: Hillsong's “Arms Open Wide.” It was filled with new meaning for me. Some of the lyrics say, “Here I stand, arms open wide. I am Yours and You are mine, Jesus. My whole life is Yours; I give it all, surrendered to Your Name. And forever I will pray, 'Have Your way, have Your way, Jesus.'”
That was my prayer there in the cemetery. And that is my continual prayer as I am here in Israel. I want to surrender to God and allow Him to work in and through my life, as I trust and obey Him.
One step at a time...